I guess I've waited long enough to post again here.
My mother and father are doing as well as can be expected. My father had a simple heart procedure - pretty much an external one-time pacemaker-level shock - to quiet his atrial fibrillation. Everything is now hunky dory, there. He also had a stress test and pretty much passed with flying colors. He has the heart of a thirty year old. Not bad for a 78 year old, I'd say.
On the not-so-good side, my mom's dementia is progressing. She's also been diagnosed with mild osteoporosis. My younger brother (divorced and kids are grown) moved in with them to help them out. My dad is in great shape, but he is still 78 years old. Getting old really stinks. Baby brother is now job hunting in the Richmond, VA area. I don't know the job market there, but he's always managed to do well. I'm just glad there's someone younger around in case my folks need the help.
MIL is now in a convalescent home recovering from her surgery. She's not extremely healthy, but they're very optimistic that they got all the cancer. They're still putting her through a round of treatment (I think radiation), but I think that's more precautionary more than anything else. She is slated to be back in her house before Thanksgiving.
My knee MRI results are "bad, but not bad enough for surgery." They didn't add, "So deal with it," but it almost sounded like they said it, to my ear.
On the financial front, DW has finished installing the new french doors. I really like them, and they came in a few thousand dollars under budget, but still a few thousand more than I wanted to pay. I will admit that the installers did a better and much quicker job of it than I could have done. I know they're better than the old doors, because when DW and I were on Facetime, she opened the new door, I immediately heard the train whistle from about ten blocks away. With the old doors, I'd have heard the train before she opened the door. DW also says they seal better than the old doors. Maybe this will get our utility bills under $100 per month. That's a milestone I wouldn't mind hitting. The bills were originally in the $400 per month range when I first started energy upgrades.
The painters have also finished repainting inside and out. When they started, I felt this wasn't really necessary, but they found some water damage, which was repaired relatively early. If they had not found that damage, I'm sure I would have had a much larger bill to fix the additional damage whenever the damage would have been later found. So, although I didn't want the house repainted, it was a good thing DW had it done, after all.
Debt repayment is progressing apace. The doors are two payments away from complete. We put them on a 0% card just for the convenience factor. We could wait longer to pay them off, but I'm just as glad that they'll be paid off before January. I hate credit card balances. DW's car payoff is going OK. Still a ton owed, but with a 1.19% interest rate, I'd rather leave my money in the mutual funds than pull it out for the car. We'll just cash-flow the payments. It should be paid off in less than two years, and maybe sooner.
I sent the "contract" about the Bank of Mom & Pop loan to DD2 and SIL2. I told them that there was no need for a signature - it's not like we'll sue them if they don't repay it - but I wanted to make sure everyone was aware of the terms. I included a "late payment" penalty of 1% per month after 90 days, but I set back the "first payment" date to January of 2014. They were happy with the terms (0% interest and about a ten year term), which is not surprising.
About my bonus... I'm quite upset. They still haven't paid me for my April bonus. They have reasons, but those reasons are now sounding like excuses to me. Things go more slowly over here, but we are beyond a reasonable delay, in my mind. I plan to speak to our CFO tomorrow to sort this out once and for all.
I will be traveling back to the US over the Thanksgiving holidays. I hope to see my folks and all of my brothers. All four of us children are planning to be there, but I haven't got the details of their planned visits. Time is growing short, so I need to get on the stick about this. It has been over 25 years since all four of us got together at the same time. Two of us live in Texas, though I reside in Dubai. One lives in the DC area. My folks are just outside Richmond, VA. Baby brother just moved in with my folks from Kansas. Maybe his move means we'll all get together more often, but probably not. We keep in touch by phone and such, but to actually get all of us in the same city has just not happened much. It is mostly my fault, as I've lived in Europe and the Middle East for much of my life, and traveled frequently for my entire adult life, rarely visiting when I'm not on the road.
DW and I slowed our mutual fund purchases to cover the water damage repairs. It turns out we pretty much skipped October, but we'll make it up in December, or when I get my bonus. I could pay off DW's car with the bonus, but it's ear-marked for retirement instead. That's part of the "great car compromise" DW and I made. DW's early move back to the US is having more of a financial impact than I would have liked. She has held off on buying new furniture, at least, other than the beds and other assorted items. Only one room really needs new stuff, but of course it's the living room. That's better than another Tempurpedic mattress, anyway.
Viewing the 'Retirement' Category
I guess I've waited long enough to post again here.
This isn't very financial in nature, though it definitely touches on financial plans.
The doors arrived and once unpacked were damaged, so the house updates are not even started. Most of the interior is painted, and DW has moved everything out of storage and back into the house. That's $132 (there was a recent increase) per month no longer being paid out.
We received news that MIL has breast cancer that has already metastasized to the lymph nodes. MRI coming soon to see the extent. DW will be going up to visit, so that's a plane flight that wasn't planned. Also, dog watcher to pay. Also, all the other associated travel bills.
Of course, DW had already allocated the main EF for her move back to the US, so we're hitting investment funds for this; not already-invested money, we're just not putting any more toward retirement while we get over this hurdle.
Luckily, I have a bonus coming within the month. That should set things right again, but some of it will need to be sent to Uncle Sugar for taxes. Just when we needed the cash, too.
At least DD2 has finished her move in to her new place. I'm sure she and DW are glad to be under different roofs. (editor's note: Why is the plural of "roof" = "roofs" but the plural of "hoof" = "hooves?")
We've postponed DW's return to Dubai so she can take care of her mom. Sometimes you just have to make sacrifices for the good of others. DW lost her father years ago, so her mom is all she has left.
Both of my parents are still alive. My father is doing very well; still very active in his late 70's. My mother, though, is having severe age-related memory problems. It is not impeding her apparent quality of life, but her lack of short-term memory is very noticeable. She's seeing specialists and on medication. My father says her symptoms seem to be arrested at the current stage. It's really quite sad to see this happen.
Getting old stinks, but it certainly beats the only alternative I'm aware of: dying young.
This article, which links to sources that may or may not be genuine or accurate*, makes quite a few interesting statements.
I don't know how true it is, but I don't doubt the vast majority of the statements. Some of them that give one pause for thought:
2. According to one recent poll, 25 percent of all Americans in the 46 to 64-year-old age bracket have no retirement savings at all.
8. Today, one out of every six elderly Americans lives below the federal poverty line.
13. A poll conducted by CESI Debt Solutions found that 56 percent of American retirees still had outstanding debts when they retired.
34. According to a recent survey conducted by Americans for Secure Retirement, 88 percent of all Americans are worried about "maintaining a comfortable standard of living in retirement".
That last one is at least a little bit encouraging. At least most people are aware that something is wrong. Maybe a few of them might actually do something about it.
* I didn't check the linked sources and I'm not vouching for the accuracy of any of the items listed in the linked article itself.
Arrrrgh! Just got off the phone with DW.
DW and I used to have very significant non-mortgage debt. Through diligence and dedication, we paid off or sold off well over $100K in a relatively short period of time. We've been "except for mortgage" debt free for quite a while, and the money has been going to retirement accounts and investments since then, as well as accelerating the mortgage pay off.
We were left with our only debt being a relatively low mortgage principal due. Late last year, I had worked out an amortization schedule on that (remember, I'm still an Excel nerd), and determined we could pay the whole thing off in less than a year. I ran some numbers on a refinance and determined that the interest rate reduction wouldn't cover the closing fees over the period we could reasonably expect to pay off the loan.
Fast forward to now. DW is back in the US setting up home again in our "old" house, and she's spending like a Congressman who doesn't have an opponent for the next term. Between the BMP loan to the kids, a new bed (gotta be Tempurpedic, not just memory foam), a new garage door (yeah, that's an emergency, right?), repainting the outside of the house that really doesn't need it except for cosmetic reasons (paint is for protection, not beauty), the two sets of new French doors, and her new car LOAN... well the EF is gone.
She's starting to use the credit cards. I told her that I'm NOT cashing in any of the mutual funds for this (after tax, no penalty, but we're not going to touch any retirement funds until we retire). I guess now she's going to buy all new furniture and probably have the driveway re-paved.... Sorry, that's hyperbole and frustration, not actual plans. At least she hasn't mentioned all new furniture (yet?).
Anyway, all the work to get us out of debt is being thrown away. I let her get the car loan in a compromise, and now she's continuing - no accelerating - the spending without any more compromise.
To top it off, she's even asking to decrease the amount we had agreed to pay toward the mortgage in the "great car compromise." For that one, I told her a flat-out "No, we're going to pay the amount we agreed to." I even "threatened" to pay the note from here rather than transferring the monies to her account which has all the autopays. She agreed to keep that compromise, but I think that she just wants to make those Jones next door envious.
Now that I have that out of my system...
There's nothing she's doing that we hadn't planned to do over time, but she wants to do it all right now. The problem is that she's putting us back into debt and also killed our EF at the same time to do it.
Does anyone have any advice for me when I talk to her next time? I swear, this feels like she's an alcoholic who skipped out on an AA meeting to go to a bar.
I just got off the phone with DW. She's met with our financial advisor, and of course sent me forms to sign and instructions to follow. She said it might rain today, so we'll save a few dollars on watering the new sod we put in.
DD2 and SIL2 have started the structural changes in their new house, and found that one of the walls she wants to pull down contains the risers for the plumbing upstairs. She's bummed, but they're going to do an archway with support beams (rather than just a stand-alone column to conceal the plumbing) instead of only the breakfast bar with no verticals. I'm sure it will look fine.
The Bank of Mom and Pop has extended the credit line to DD2 and SIL2 to accommodate a new fence. SIL2 had great plans to put in a new fence by himself, but I'm not surprised he's not doing this one. I've done fences before, and even using a two-man auger, postholes are a pain in the butt to put in. He's not all that mechanically inclined, so they got a bid for others to do the fence. The old one is already torn down and the new one should be going in as I type.
DW asked why parts of our house are cold and other parts are not-so-cold. I told her it's because it is an old house, and DD2 doesn't run the ceiling fans, closes all the doors, and blocks all the air flow from the registers back to the inlets. I told her to just leave the doors open and all the ceiling fans running and that things would moderate. DD2 cannot be told anything that doesn't agree with her preconceived notions. She thinks that air conditioning should work according to her desires and not according to physics. I can't wait until she starts seeing the results of her ideas in her new place. Remember that I've done thousands of dollars in energy updates in my 1950's bungalow. She refused to do the updates in her 1970's Brady Bunch place.
The puppies are loving the yard, still. I, on the other hand, mopped the floors this evening. I miss the vacuum cleaner aspect of those two.
DW is planning to split her time between the US and Dubai. The summers here are oppressively hot, and she just doesn't want to suffer through another one. I, on the other hand, actually like the hot weather, and as I'm the one working, there's no real way I can go back to the US and work here part time.
Because of this, we'll need both a car and a house in the US. For some reason, DW doesn't want to live in the house we already own, and have nearly paid off. She wants a larger place for only her and our dogs. Her car is being used by DD2 and SIL, and DW doesn't want to ask for it back. I'm not even going to discuss my opinion of that. I gave my car to BIL (DW's brother) when we left to come here to Dubai, because there was no way I could sell it for what it was worth, and BIL needed it more than we did. No regrets on that front.
So, it looks like we'll need to buy both a house and a car upon our return for DS's wedding. I have DW convinced to buy the house first, at least, but because of that, we won't have the cash to buy her new car outright. I hope she will come around and let me get her a gently used car for $20K or so until we can save up enough for the car she wants (list price around $55K). If not, we'll end up with car payments and we'll have to beat those down while simultaneously attacking the last of house(1) mortgage and new house mortgage. At least we have no other debts to worry about. House(1) is nearly paid off. If it weren't for the need for the down payment for new house, we could pay it off completely.
So, DW is putting a crimp into our retirement plans. The only point we're in full agreement on is that we aren't touching any of the retirement accounts for this, and we'll still fully fund both Roths. She wants a place with a large fenced yard and a pool. We also want the place to be energy efficient, well-made... all the "normal" house desires. She also wants "close in to town," and "new construction." We're talking five times my annual salary to get everything she wants, and that's just not going to happen. She also doesn't want to work, which I don't mind. But she's going to have to "give" on at least a couple points or it's just not going to happen.
I should find out my bonus amount this month. That's going to decide a lot of what we're going to be able to do right away, and what we're going to have to put off until later. I'm hoping for a very large bonus.
Sorry for yet another long post.
I have lived a very charmed life. My parents are in their 70's and are still alive, as are all of my brothers. Very few people who are or were close to me have died. Due to this, death is still very foreign to my experience, and any deaths that have occurred have left a profound impact on me.
In other posts, I've alluded to losing my girlfriend of many years when talking about my retail therapy binge. A recent thread in the forums (actually, I think the word is "fora," but no one uses it, so I won't either) got me to thinking about my outlook when it comes to money, which brought me to write this post.
My father came from a very large family. He had five brothers and two sisters. Most of them are still alive and in their 70's and 80's. When I was about eleven, my father's father (my paternal grandfather) passed away. The family all gathered at his small house and had the near-reunion that always accompanies the death of a family patriarch or matriarch.
With that many children in their 30's and 40's, and all of their children (my cousins), you can imagine the scores of people in my grandparents' house. I would say the house was about 1000 square feet, and two bedrooms with only one bathroom and one common area plus a kitchen. All of us kids were basically left to our own devices. The older teens wandered off to the local hangouts - there was a park nearby where they could go sit on the play ground equipment and smoke cigarettes unbeknownst to the adults back at the house - while us younger kids pretty much just hung around the house and probably made pests of ourselves until we were given something to occupy our time.
My cousin Roger and I were eventually dispatched to my grandfather's bedroom. We were given the task of clearing out his dresser. Roger was about a year younger than I was, and his father and mine were the two sons who had made decent livings for themselves. My father's family was not rich by any means, my grandfather being a retired police officer from the 1950's when pensions were small but sufficient; however, my father had put himself through university to get a BS and eventually an MBA, and my Roger's father had opened his own successful business. The other aunts and uncles, though, were basically living paycheck-to-paycheck like most Americans still are doing today.
While clearing out the drawers, Roger and I came across my grandfather's old service revolver. We were southern boys, so we knew about guns and merely set it safely aside with the other items we were cataloging. We also came across a "blackjack." I asked my father about it when we told him about the revolver (which my father put out of the reach of our younger cousins). A blackjack is a leather device that looks much like a very small dumbbell, and has a small weight made of lead - maybe a fishing lure weight - at either end of the "dumbbell." The wielder holds one piece of leather-covered lead, and swings the blackjack as a small club. The leather and the weight of the lead increasing the force of the subsequent impact. A blackjack is a close cousin of "brass knuckles." My father explained that my grandfather had disarmed the blackjack wielder after being struck by it, and had kept the blackjack as a souvenir. I can tell you no more of the fate of the blackjack wielder.
Roger and I continued to go through my grandfather's things. We came upon a pencil cup full of pens of various types. My cousin ran his fingers across the top of the pencils and pens, and remarked, "Wow! There are enough pens here that all of the grandkids can have one." Now, I immediately realized that Roger was thinking, "What can I get out of Grandpa's death?"
This statement had a very profound effect on me. I was disgusted with Roger. I must admit that to this day, I cannot look at Roger - we're both in our 50's now - without remembering this statement. My grandfather had died, and Roger was wondering "What's in it for me?"
About 15 years later, my maternal grandmother passed away. Although my mother's family was much smaller than my father's extended family, we still had the typical near-reunion gathering.
We dutifully gathered at my grandmother's house - not much larger than my paternal grandparents' house - and talked about my grandmother's life and death. My mother and her three sisters were going through my grandmother's things and I was told "to take something for myself." I demurred, but my mother insisted I take something with me. One of my brothers had taken the color TV, and another of my brothers had taken my grandmother's Buick.
I remembered as a kid, we would sit around listening and basically being bored as the older folks talked, and I would mostly stare at a "century clock" - also called an anniversary clock - that my grandparents had on their mantle. I was always fascinated with that clock and the small weights at the bottom that would spin one direction and then the other apparently forever. This clock was the one item I always equated with my grandparents' house.
So, of course, that's what I asked for. My mother's younger sister immediately chimed in very vehemently, "No! That's mine! I have already packed it away." Now, I had only spoken up because I had been forced to do so, and I had chosen that item because it was what most reminded me of my grandmother. Immediately upon my aunt's tone and statement, I saw images of my cousin Roger and his coveted pencil cup. Instead of the anniversary clock, I asked if I could have the "rag rugs" that my grandmother had made herself.
Rag rugs are made by taking old scraps of material and making them into long, thin tubes. The tubes are then braided, and lastly the braids are sewn in a spiral fashion to make oval throw rugs. After the clock, these rugs, hand-made by my grandmother, most reminded me of my grandmother, so that's what I asked for instead of the clock. Even with a lot more cajoling, I took only the three rag rugs. When asked, I said, "These are what remind me of Grandma, so these are what I want."
I have a few other stories and memories, but these two tidbits illustrate why I've never put much value on things or money. I really don't need much, and I never saw the reason to accumulate wealth. I was born smart and I have always had the ability to make as much money as I wanted to; I just never really wanted to make money.
Now, I'm setting aside cash for my retirement, which is why I came to SA. As I never saw any value to money, but realize rationally that I need to save some for my DW when I eventually pass away, I came here to Dubai. I love my job, but I've had other jobs I love more. When I leave here, I'll go back to training - my true vocation. I doubt I ever "retire," as I actually love being in front of a class and the interaction and challenges of putting across the information so folks can genuinely understand the material. It's just that here in Dubai I make enough money to easily save and that's really all I'm here for.
I know his name is a curse word to many, but I like to listen to DR for a variety of reasons. The least of which is that I like to hear the stories of people who have gone from staggering debt to financial security with great effort. What I have learned is that most of them changed their way of living to become debt free, and it is that "change of modus operandi" that I listen for to decide in my head if the person screaming "Debt Free!" is going to remain debt free.
As I've posted before, I put myself into considerable debt over a relatively short period of time due to a variety of reasons. Lost job, contracting business that barely paid the basic bills, retail therapy, and plain ol' stupidity being four of the major causes. Note that my divorce didn't even make the top four.
Well, I sold some stuff including a lake house and a third car, both of which I didn't need, and concentrated on paying off the other loans and such. Right now, I have no debt except my primary mortgage. I'm within a year of paying off the mortgage. I have plans to start purchasing houses to use as rental properties during my retirement for an income stream.
I was listening to Dave Ramsey, and someone with a remote house and payment called to ask about selling the house or keeping it for rental income. Dave asked the caller, "Would you borrow to buy that house?" Now, simplistic questions don't fit every situation, and my situation is different.
I can pay off my mortgage 100% within a year. At that point, I plan to save up $80K as a down payment on a second house, which I plan to purchase when I return to the US. I have no plans to live in my current house again, but it is in a neighborhood that is appreciating at about 6% to 10% per year, plus I can get rental income of about $1000 per month after taxes and insurance. I see no reason to sell such a cash cow. I can reasonably make $150K off of it if I do sell it, though.
My secondary goal, after I save the $80K, is to start saving for a second and third home in the same neighborhood, for eventual retirement rental income. As I'm the spreadsheet king, I have the financials worked out fairly well.
So, after hearing Dave's question, I am questioning myself as to whether I am doing the right thing. I have basically no bills, so everything I make goes into investments such as mutual funds and real estate. I plan to be real estate heavy, because God stopped making land, but lots of folks are still developing mutual funds. I just feel more comfortable with a house in hand versus a number on a piece of paper.
What would you do? Pay off the mortgage and buy property, or sell the house and invest in mutual funds?
Or something altogether different?
Editorial note: I know that many folks reading this are in debt and would love to be having this "problem," but believe me when I say I have not arrived here without a ton of effort and not just a few months where I was glad that the light still came on when I changed the calendar. You're reading about someone who has made it down the road after a very rocky start and quite a few missed turns and flat tires.
I'm heading back to the States for a few days to catch up on some personal business and grab some "can't get them over here" items... well that's not quite true. You can get ANYTHING in Dubai, but the shipping costs are often more than the item is worth. So, I'm grabbing some low-dollar items while I'm back.
The main reason for the return is some house maintenance. The Son-in-law isn't the most handy of individuals, so I'm going to put in a peep hole as well as find out where the vermin droppings are coming from. I sealed the house very well, and treated the attic with boric acid powder, so there shouldn't be any insects, but it is Texas, and that means there are always bugs. Daughter has gone from the droppings from rats, to mice, to maybe roaches... I'm wondering if it isn't something else altogether. In any case, though, I'll make sure there are no new holes in the walls or siding and also make sure any other minor things are taken care of.
We're moving within Dubai, so we've spent the last couple of weeks looking for places. Right now, we're kind of partial to the Palm Jumeirah, but we may end up in the Marina. There's more to do in the Marina, but the Palm has better traffic. We'll find out when we decide, I guess.
Daughter and SIL are going to be coming out in December. We've set aside some money that we plan to "waste" while they're here. This will likely be their only chance to visit us for a year or more, and it is quite likely that wife and I will return to the US before they come again. We want to certainly do the desert safari and probably a lot of sightseeing such as going up in the Burj Khalifa just so we can take pictures. Daughter is a published photographer, so I'm certain that photography will be high on her list while she's over here.