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There goes the Budget!

March 14th, 2013 at 01:27 pm

I got a call from DS a few days ago. He has decided to marry his (now) fiancee. They've been dating about three years. She graduates in May. They're getting married in June. At least they waited until after college to get married. DS has been out of Uni about three years, so he's just now hitting his stride on earning potential.

The problem is that we had not planned to come back to the US until July or August. Two months isn't a lot of time to change our plans, and we have promised to "help out" on the wedding. How much we help will probably depend a lot on how well DS is doing with his income. If he's making wise choices, we'll help more. If he's not making wise choices, we'll help less. We really can't make that decision from a distance.

DW and I are thinking of giving the new couple a gift of enrollment in Dave Ramsey's class. I don't really agree with 100% of DR's teachings, but you can't argue with success. I am about 99% sure DS has put himself in over his head in debt, due in large part to my past performance which he witnessed. It's never too early for him to start to think about retirement. There's no way to plan for retirement while "improving" your credit score.

Anyway, this is only a bump in the mortgage-pay-off road. If we get my bonus on time, then we should be able to overcome any difficulties that this wedding will cause with our budget. If we don't get the bonus on time (you'd have to know our CFO to understand why this is a possibility), then the timing of the wedding will hurt. DW and I have decided to slow down the mortgage pay off and concentrate on vacation/wedding savings instead.

I am certainly blessed to be saddled with the "good" problems I'm now facing. Of course, I've worked for over 30 years to get this overnight success. God's been smiling at me recently, and I'm really thankful for His help. (I apologize to those of you that might find this last statement offensive; however, I am obliged to acknowledge Him in my current situation.)

7 Responses to “There goes the Budget!”

  1. twest Says:

    Agh! Hate that you have to forgo paying extra on mortgage but it is a worthy reason. I know I feel the exact same. I almost want to cut back in other places that aren't as easy just to keep paying more on that mortgage. Glad you are able to help him though.

    Wishing them many happy years!

  2. snafu Says:

    You must have a wonderful relationship with your son. It's terrific that you are financially able to offer financial support to son without a detrimental effect on your retirement. How will the young couple react to your gift of Ramsey enrolment?

  3. Donna Says:

    Suze Orman always says "people before money", and I wholeheartedly agree. The mortgage pay down can wait, in the grand scheme of things. Enjoy the wedding and expansion of your family.

  4. Wino Says:

    snafu, I wish my relationship with my son were better, but that's pretty much water under the bridge. I would say his reaction will depend mostly on two things: How I present the idea to him, and how he feels about his performance up to this point. I've always been direct and open with my kids, so they respect me for that, at least (I hope). I prefer understanding to compassion. What good is making someone "feel good" about your warning if they don't realize it is a warning?

    Anyway, I will almost definitely give him the class enrollment after asking him if he'll attend. I read DR's book several years back but never really paid it much mind. Finally, when I realized I needed to change my ways, I started to implement Dave Ramsey's goals, if not his strategies. Basically, his goals are "get out of debt and save for retirement." No one can really argue those points effectively. Everything else about his plan is up for debate.

  5. Petunia 100 Says:

    How nice! Congrats to your son and his soon-to-be wife.

    I think a DR course is a very nice gift, if they are both interested. Being on the same financial page will serve any couple well. IMO, the promotion of that idea is one of the strengths of DR.

  6. JulieA Says:

    Congrats to the soon to be newlyweds.
    As for you son and how he is handling his income -- I can sympathize. I have a 23yo who is a fun loving, adorable but terrible with money guy. He drives me nuts and I love him to death.

    All you can do is state your piece and then let them live their lives. Enjoy the wedding. You don't get many of those big special family moments and this is certainly a family before money type of event.

  7. mjrube94 Says:

    Congrats! Great news and great idea to do give Dave Ramsey as a gift...

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