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Financial Decisions

May 12th, 2013 at 10:54 pm

DW is planning to split her time between the US and Dubai. The summers here are oppressively hot, and she just doesn't want to suffer through another one. I, on the other hand, actually like the hot weather, and as I'm the one working, there's no real way I can go back to the US and work here part time.

Because of this, we'll need both a car and a house in the US. For some reason, DW doesn't want to live in the house we already own, and have nearly paid off. She wants a larger place for only her and our dogs. Her car is being used by DD2 and SIL, and DW doesn't want to ask for it back. I'm not even going to discuss my opinion of that. I gave my car to BIL (DW's brother) when we left to come here to Dubai, because there was no way I could sell it for what it was worth, and BIL needed it more than we did. No regrets on that front.

So, it looks like we'll need to buy both a house and a car upon our return for DS's wedding. I have DW convinced to buy the house first, at least, but because of that, we won't have the cash to buy her new car outright. I hope she will come around and let me get her a gently used car for $20K or so until we can save up enough for the car she wants (list price around $55K). If not, we'll end up with car payments and we'll have to beat those down while simultaneously attacking the last of house(1) mortgage and new house mortgage. At least we have no other debts to worry about. House(1) is nearly paid off. If it weren't for the need for the down payment for new house, we could pay it off completely.

So, DW is putting a crimp into our retirement plans. The only point we're in full agreement on is that we aren't touching any of the retirement accounts for this, and we'll still fully fund both Roths. She wants a place with a large fenced yard and a pool. We also want the place to be energy efficient, well-made... all the "normal" house desires. She also wants "close in to town," and "new construction." We're talking five times my annual salary to get everything she wants, and that's just not going to happen. She also doesn't want to work, which I don't mind. But she's going to have to "give" on at least a couple points or it's just not going to happen.

I should find out my bonus amount this month. That's going to decide a lot of what we're going to be able to do right away, and what we're going to have to put off until later. I'm hoping for a very large bonus.

9 Responses to “Financial Decisions”

  1. creditcardfree Says:

    Yep, she is going to have to compromise. Good luck with your negotiations and communication with each other!

  2. CB in the City Says:

    Holy cow! What a lot of demands! I can't even imagine.

  3. ceejay74 Says:

    Whoa! Good luck finding a middle ground.

  4. snafu Says:

    Has DW forgotten that earnings supply all those niceties? Perhaps she contracted 'Dubai fever' where you are judged by what you drive? Are you just presenting her in a bad light or is she truly shallow and self involved?

  5. Joanne Says:

    Wow.. I don't know how long you have been married for, but what would happen if you daid, "no" to some of your wife"s requests? Maybe she could find some charity to volunteer at, or think of doing something that would help someone? It's not my business, but I am suprised that a woman today, would expect all this , and not want to work, or do something to help provide for her wants? Sorry, if I sound offensive...

  6. NJDebbie Says:

    I have to admit that when I read your post, I chuckled because my hubby would probably tell me to find another husband!

  7. Wino Says:

    I was mostly venting in the post. I never said she was insisting on the items above, but she's definitely asking for them all. Right now, the main point of contention is that she wants me to sell the nearly paid for house that can bring in nearly $2K per month in rent. She also doesn't want to live there - even though we lived there for years before moving to Dubai. Financially, the best thing would be for her to live there and drive a beater while we save up for everything she wants.

    Like I said, though, the bonus amount needs to be known before any concrete plans have been made. Nothing she's asking for is not in our plans. It's just that nothing shes asking for is in our plans for THIS YEAR.

    She knows that my income will support the payments she's asking for - OK, not the dream house with the bat cave - but everything else can be done. It's just that it will set back our long-term plans of retiring by several years. And that's the main reason we came to Dubai; to retire earlier and more comfortably.

  8. starfishy Says:

    do you know the reasons why your wife wants to put a crimp in your family's retirement plans? i understand the wanting to split time btwn US and Dubai because of the heat part, but what has changed for her that wanting a bigger house and expensive car is more important than the original retirement plan? good luck with your new conversations!

  9. Wino Says:

    Mostly, her decision has to do with the fact that she misses her friends and family. I understand that. I was raised in a military family. We were used to leaving and remaking friendships and starting over again. She has moved twice in her life. One of those was to Dubai. She wants to go back to her kids and life that she used to know.

    I don't really blame her. We talked tonight, and she's willing to move into our old place for a while to get things settled. I ended up not making it into the office today - unavoidable client meetings - but I plan to talk to our CFO tomorrow and get a number from him. A big bone of contention is that I still don't know my bonus level, and I should already have a check, not just the level.

    But that's for tomorrow. We still need to decide the car situation. We can afford the payments, and with today's car prices, $55K isn't a Lamborgini... It's just a large and comfortable and safe car... but a two-year-old version would do the job as well, for at least $20K less.

    But that's tomorrow's discussion.

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